You’re Not Even Listening To Me

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve heard that phrase.  Pathetic, I know but I’ll be honest with you:  I’m really not the world’s greatest listener.  It’s just never been my strong suit.  For a while I tried to blame it on a pair of 12″ sub-woofers that I used to blast in high school and college, but after a while I started to realize it was a bit more complex than that.

I just don’t listen that well.  The result, at home, has been a more shallow relationship with my wife than desired.  So when an opportunity came up through a program at work to attend an AAIM seminar titled, “Active Listening,” I seized the moment (my wife was equally excited).  The seminar was yesterday morning and it was actually really, really beneficial.

I plan to blog in depth on this over the next few days, but to summarize here – I was able to see my inability to effectively listen as rooted in sin.  By working through this in depth, I identified the root of my deficiency to be selfishness (this wasn’t the direction of the class – the words ‘sin’ and ‘selfishness’ were never mentioned – but these were the synapses firing in my head).  Basically, it goes like this:

We start a conversation (let’s say you initiate it), but I have ton of other crap on my mind.  Somewhere in to the conversation, I make a subconscious decision: is what you’re talking about more important than the crap in my mind.  If it is not, I tune out in some capacity. 

 Like I said, the root of this is selfishness and self-centeredness.

“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”  (Philippians 2:3 ESV)

I’m  planning at least two more posts on this including much of the practical take-away that I gained.

Stay tuned…


~ by toddbumgarner on March 7, 2008 5:46 am.

2 Responses to “You’re Not Even Listening To Me”

  1. […] by toddbumgarner A while back, I posted on the Active Listening course I took through AAIM.  In that post, I promised some additional posts on the content of the course, and some of the things I had […]

  2. […] Part 0: Background […]

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